The haphazard search for "faith"

Since I was young, my family has always had an altar with a benevolent Guan Yin Bodhisattva statue on it. As a child, I enjoyed confiding in Guan Yin Bodhisattva and even addressed her as "Sister Guan Yin." During elementary school, I also enjoyed watching Cantonese movies featuring Guan Yin Bodhisattva and would aimlessly recite Heart Sutra on my own. During the summer before my third year of junior high, I traveled with several classmates to Malaysia and visited a large Guan Yin temple. At that time, I had just come into contact with "spirit mediums" and was very curious about the meaning of my soul and existence in this world, so when I drew a fortune stick, I specifically asked for one about "myself." The fortune I received read:

"Inside you lies priceless treasures and gems,

Why seek external jade to fulfill your dreams?

Better to wait for a wise sage to discern,

With peace of mind, expand your heart and yearn."

Upon receiving this fortune, I simply thought that Guan Yin Bodhisattva was telling me to be more patient and less angry since I often got angry at things.

After all these experiences, you might think that I achieved some spiritual progress at a young age, but the reality is quite the opposite. After graduating from high school and returning to Hong Kong, I visited various churches and even relied on the support of friends from a Pentecostal church during my lowest point, but I still felt a sense of lacking and only saw it as a place with a better atmosphere. In order to have a church wedding for my first marriage, I attended Sunday school hoping to be baptized, but dropped out several times due to discussions on homosexuality, even though I am a heterosexual who is more straight than iron. I truly abhor any limitations on love for other human beings and feel that it goes against the teachings of Christianity and Catholicism.

Regardless, due to my ex-husband being a Catholic, I got married and divorced in a Catholic way. Before the divorce, my friend and I were interested in meditation and pet communication. We both attended meditation and pet communication classes separately. In the pet communication class, there were four of us who didn't know each other. We all brought photos of our own pets and practiced using each other's pets. I could feel the pain of an unknown dog very accurately. At that time, the dog in the photo looked very energetic, but after connecting, I felt a lot of pain in one ear and could hardly hear. One eye was also almost blind. I confirmed this fact by asking my classmates about the real situation.

During this period, I also learned some Taoist meditation methods, but at that time, fate had not yet arrived, and I always saw some unpleasant images when meditating alone, which made me scared and I quickly gave up. Until I met another fate and went through a major test. At my most painful moment, a photo of Guanyin appeared on my phone (it was a photo my mother had sent a long time ago and I found it while flipping through my photo album at work. There was nothing supernatural about it). At that moment, I had a strong feeling and I remembered the law of attraction. So I decided to try meditation again. At first, it was always difficult, and I didn't dare to try it alone because of a scary experience I had before. I found some Cantonese meditation guidance on YouTube and officially began my spiritual journey.

From here, I have come into contact with many strange things, such as Feng Shui, crystal energy, the Yuan Chen Palace, Qigong, divination, runes, elemental magic, Buddhism, and the human body graph, etc. (I will definitely explain each of them in detail later). Every time I come into contact, I have some new insights. I feel that all my previous experiences, knowledge, and insights are indispensable, and every experience is necessary and meaningful. They are all one piece of the puzzle that I need to complete. If you ask me which religion I believe in now, I would say that I believe in the universe, and that all religions lead to one. However, this is just a polite statement because every religion has its merits. We should not limit ourselves with a few words. Just like when we were young and studying, every subject has an inseparable connection, allowing us to deepen our learning from different perspectives. Moreover, ideas such as "dualistic opposition", "exclusion", "comparison mentality", and "selfishness" are all present in different religions.